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My New Year's resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier. One liner tags: fat , friendship , New Year 76.84 % / 782 votes. share Goodbye, 2024. Hello, 2025! Kick off the year with a laugh (or two) by telling these hilarious New Year's jokes. What did the dad say at 11:59 p.m. on New Year's? No more jokes until next year. My New Year's resolution was to read more, so I turned on the subtitles on my TV. I'm going to stay up late this New Year's Eve—not to ring in the New Year, but to make sure this one leaves. My New Year's resolution is to procrastinate. I'll start tomorrow. It may feel like 2024 just began, but the calendar tells a different story! With 2025 just around the corner, it’s time to start planning for New Year’s Eve.If you’re reflecting on your New Year’s resolutions, props to you—those goals can be really meaningful. If you are looking for some outstanding one-liners for your New Year's Day captions, we have the perfect punny toasts for the new year! We de-partied the year like it was 1999! Don't worry — we didn't drop the ball when the clock stuck midnight. Whether it is a playful twist on resolutions, a funny take on New Year traditions or just a pun packed toast to the future, these jokes reflect the spirit of celebration and hope that comes with January 1st. New Year puns range from ‘ringing in the pun-derful New Year’ to laughing at resolutions that ‘fizz out faster than champagne These short New Year jokes are perfect for one-liners, text messages, or slipping into conversations during the countdown. My New Year’s resolution is 1080p At the beginning of this year I made a New Year’s resolution to lose 10 kilograms. Only 15 more to go! Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up for New Years, middle age is when you’re forced to. In this section, I have included hilarious New Year’s resolution jokes that are perfect for sharing with your friends. You can tell your friends the next time you meet them, or you can send them to your group chat. Don’t miss the laughter! My New Year resolution is 1080p. My new year’s resolution is 1080 x 1920 pixels. These one-liners are for you whether you need New Years eve jokes or you’re celebrating the big day itself. New Year’s Resolutions: In one year and out the other. New Year’s Eve is the one day when you can drop the ball. I’ve already got a date for New Year’s Eve: December 31st! Don’t shoplift a calendar or you’ll get twelve months. Ring in 2025 with these hilarious New Year's jokes, including punny one-liners and classic knock-knock jokes, so you can start off your new year with a laugh. Search Subscribe Funny ‘New Year One-Liner Jokes’ – Short & Funny New Year Jokes. I’m starting the New Year with a clean slate well, at least a less sticky one than last year. This New Year, I’m going to make resolutions I can actually keep, like watching more Netflix. New Year One-Liners: Time to Laugh Your Resolutions Off! – Cheers to a 2023-ious New Year! – May all your troubles be left in ’22. – Let’s toast to a re-solutionary year. A big list of new years resolution jokes, submitted and ranked by users. I only have two new years resolutions. One: to lose the weight I gained since the accident. One Liner New Years Eve Jokes. What was the Amityville Priest’s resolution? “To exorcise more.” What does a field grow on Jan. 1? “New Year’s hay.” What did Che Guevara make on New Year’s Day? From New Year Dad Jokes, New Year knock knock jokes to one-liners, New Year puns and riddles – we have got it all to keep everyone, from kids to adults, entertained. New Year Dad Jokes; New Year Jokes One-Liners; Funny New Year Riddle Jokes; Knock-Knock New Year Jokes; Our Latest Video on Winter Crafts 😂 Funny New Year One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny New Year Jokes. Sometimes, the shorter the joke, the bigger the laugh. These one-liners are quick, witty, and perfect for a light-hearted New Year’s Eve celebration! Cheers to the New Year! It’s gonna be “lit.” New Year’s Day is here! Time to turn over a new leaf like my calendar. The clock strikes midnight, fireworks light up the sky, and 2025 rolls in with all its glittering promises. As we step into a year brimming with hope and resolutions we might keep for a week, there’s no better way to set the tone than with some New Year Dad Jokes. 16. My New Year’s resolution is to break my bad habits. Sadly, they’re breaking me first. 17. What’s a computer’s New Year’s resolution? To clear its cache and start fresh. 18. Why are ghosts bad at New Year’s resolutions? They always go through them! 19. The gym on January 1st? It’s just a waiting room for February dropouts. 20. Absolutely hillarious New Year one-liners! The largest collection of New Year one-line jokes in the world. All sorted from the best by our visitors. See TOP 10 New Year one liners. Page 2.
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